Baking...

"To dream that you are baking, represents your creative self and you ability to make things out of seemingly nothing." Courtesy of dreammoods.com
I had a dream last night, a real dream not a day dream, I was baking a lot of things; bread, cookies, you name it and I baked it in the dream. I didn't understand my exact mood in the dream, but I was leaning on "not good". And since I'm so intrigued by my dreams I always look for an interpretation, so I searched for the meaning of my dream and the opening quote came up. This actually reminded me of a conversation I had with a dear colleague and friend; Seyam, in which I stated that I am not a creative person; maybe analytical but not creative. I have this idea about myself that I can't "invent" ideas from no where; especially in science. Maybe I can be a bit creative in arts, but I have this strong concept that I can't dare to be inventive as great scientists in mathematics and physics. I'm a "structured" person; meaning I believe in rules and laws and I don't like "out of the box" notions that contradict my common sense and perception. It doesn't mean I don't like creative ideas and concepts, actually I'm intrigued by them and "jealous" of people who can produce them. Well, why am I thinking I have to be a creative and great inventor? Because someone once said that this is what a university professor should be. I don't want to be a mediocre faculty staff who can only manage to scrape little knowledge, I want to be great, and I don't think I have "greatness" in me. Seyam said an interesting comment: "maybe you need someone to tell you you can do great things, and maybe you need to overcome the mental barrier you put in from of your mind that you aren't creative!"
I don't know, maybe it's all a reflection of the whole self-esteem issue, I convinced myself for a long time that I "can't" so now I really can't, and if I change my attitude then maybe then I "can", and this reminds me of another wise quote: "Those who can, do"
Maybe this dream is my inner voice telling me to try and believe in me, especially when I'm this close to travelling abroad to get my PhD people I always considered "geniuses". We'll see if I "can"!!!!