Bad coincidence!

This Ramadan; my birth month, which coincided with August; also my birth month, was supposed to be a great coincidence and a great opportunity for me to set a new phase of my life. I turned thirty one; supposedly the first year of a great decade for any woman, because I believe the twenties is the decade when you're stupid and you don't "comprehend" and "acknowledge" what you're doing with your life. Only when thirty hits that you begin to be more mature and can take a distant look at yourself and your actions. I didn't mind the concept that thirties is the beginning of the end for a woman, because I was always someone who counted the years to her forties "I'm getting older sister! I'm twenty, and I have just twenty years left before I get forty!!!" And a lot of people thought this sentence was the most stupid thing they've ever heard. For me it was all time, there were no milestones to feel good about myself, because life sucked in general and with no time limit! I was never someone who wore rosy glasses and stared at the half full glass of water, for me it was always dark, and the glass had water! It wasn't the most impressive drink on the planet!

I don't know why on my thirty's birthday I thought things may get a bit interesting, maybe because of this whole new angle I can see myself with, and I totally bought the idea that a woman in her thirties is "a woman." She's not a girl anymore, she's not naive anymore, and that was totally true for me. The new angle I can see myself from is that now I can; I can be independent if I choose to, I can be more beautiful if I choose to, and I can do whatever the hell I want if I choose to. But then I thought back "But you always were all these possibilities! You always knew you weren't like the other girls who can't be!" But it's OK, the realization cam anyway, and I thought that this year, this August, this Ramadan, I'd be a whole new woman, and life would be a whole new space of colors and good events.

But sadly, I was hit by two people who are close to me, I was hit so hard my head is still spinning out of my control, and the day which was supposed to be a beautiful birthday and was laid with plans for celebration by the holy month and the birthday turned out to be the precursor to one of the worst months I've had in a long long time! It made me wonder, is it possible for the best decade of your life to start this bad?! Is it possible that the beautiful autumn season begins with a gloomy day?!

Well, we'll see next year same time as now!