Tuesday, June 5, 2007

The Bad Stuff

Is it good to realize the bad things in your character? If the answer to this question is yes, then the next question would be: is it enough? Or corrective actions need to be taken when this realization happens? If the answer is it's not enough to realize what bad things you have in your character then the next question to tackle is: what are the corrective actions? And do I have the will to execute them to enhance myself? And if I do have the will, do I have the inclination to "do"?
I've come to the conclusion that it's bad to acknowledge that you have seriously bad traits in character, because when you do, you're faced with the resolution that you have to deal with them so that you can be a better person. And this is not a pleasant resolution, because people who are not ideally good tend to "secretly" enjoy practicing their "not so good" behavior, and going against that would be very hard.
Does this mean I encourage staying as I am just because I enjoy practicing my bad traits? Of course not, the real problem is that some people are stronger than others, and some people can have more purpose than others, and some times pose much pressure on people than other times. For example, I'm a whiny person, I tend to complain a lot about a lot, I allowed this behavior to linger for a long time until it became annoying to me personally. So I stopped and told myself that I need to deal with this situation or I'll end up with no compassion from others. I made a conscious decision to stop practicing something I really enjoyed, this is not a bad thing. A bad thing for me, however, would be to stop being angry at some situations and people which really pisses me off, just because when I'm angry I do not watch my mouth. I realized this "bad thing" and attempted to take a corrective action which is to avoid angering situations and people and even when avoidance is not working I should try to tone down my reaction or not react altogether. Although this improved my attitude for a while, I can't help but letting some of the "steam" go out when I'm by myself because otherwise I'd explode of anger. Sometimes I think I should take anger management classes, but I do not break things or hit things, I just say a few bad words and it's over. Drivers are allowed this luxury when they're on the road, so why shouldn't I when I'm alone. The really good behavior would be to forgive and be easygoing, but I just can't do it.
Should I tackle the rest of the list of bad stuff as I handled these previous two? I don't know about that. Do you face the same dilemma?

No comments:

Template by:
Free Blog Templates